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Depression how to get out?

Category: /General/

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 Suddenly here I am, tired of seeing the world upside down,
I am a peculiar piece that due to the financial situation, the lack of friends, the constant danger that surrounds my mind, consumes me.
I'm saddened. Life is worthless, and at the age of fifty-one, I see that I was born only to suffer, and to make others suffer.
I was not born to be a mother and I had five children, one did not even come to birth, and in a miscarriage she was alive for seven weeks and four days. The other twin, the firstborn, at 2 years and 10 months, left after a catheterism of one year and nine months, became special, without seeing, without walking, anyway ... It was a year of pure suffering. And even so, it constitutes in my life besides Alexia Cristina, Gabriel's twin, plus two children, who today, teenagers, need me as a mother, and I'm not here.
What do I have to do?
I see around me so many dislikes, maudy people, who use authoritarianism, and pull-ups that revolt me, that within Public Education, in the State Secretariat of Education of São Paulo, it seems that one of the professions that I have chosen, today without value none. And in that profession, I became ill, I became dysphoric (hoarse) and I see that since I lost my voice, it seems that I am incapable of acting.
I am tired of the hypocrisy of others that is reflected in our country, Brazil, so full of corruption, and of anguish, and people so hypocritical, they call themselves "friends", but they are constant dangers in our lives. Have hours, I think of the friend death, who often had so close to me, but did not take me. The first time, at birth with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. Then at age four, in a 12-hour surgery, of a urinary reflux, where I won, I do not know how, because it was an unprecedented surgery performed by Doctors Renato and Labibi, today I do not even know what they are with. Not to mention, at the time I woke up tied up in a room full of other children, and at the time the parents did not stay with their children in hospitals, as was the case today. So I do not even know why I got so depressed. No wonder, because I have always been a solitary person, and without much involvement with other people, I am creating poetry, doing alchemy, believing in fairy tales, and not wanting to live in an inequality anymore, where to be a teacher in the Brazil, finances their own financial lives, especially those of many who live in a disunited category, and unfortunately, many deserve these low salaries. And, who has dedicated himself to education, as I have in these almost 30 years, earns a salary of $ 2,200.00, unfortunately. Hardly giving to make payment of the FPA, Paulista art college, where my daughter Alexia, studies, and hardly gives to pay pharmacy, where I bought medicines that are not in the Basic Units of Public Health. And, not to mention other things.
I need help, but since I do not have many friends, it seems that all around me, so close, everyone wants me to succumb, and let the maracutáia run wild in the environment where I work, where everything is to blame for the final product, the students. And so, everything around me seems to no longer enjoy. But, I know I'm still going to win.
Téka Castro, writer from São Paulo. Who loves both professions. Mother of Alexia Cristina, 19, Emmanuel 17 and Anna Clara, 15. Wife of Eduardo Riveiro Castro, daughter of Deonilde and in memoriam Francisco.Read http://recantodasletras.com.br/autores/tekacastro

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