egp1

Sojourn #2

Category: /General/

(353 views)

0

Hidden in the crevices

Of the darkest cellar

The cobwebs grow

Upon the darkness of a heart

That hasn’t felt the light of a human connection

In the longest

The forlorn expression

Of a thousand yard stare

Where releasing tension isn’t being loved

Through and through

An island of doom and gloom.


Mushroomed into an apathetic misanthrope

Hating anyone that dares to knock at your gate

This isn’t an inspired fate

More of a reaction as to the first shot

Fired across the pond

And if any semblance of light comes through

It is judged, you got lucky

Or just a symptom of a deteriorating mental state

For I didn’t wish to be violated

Oh, I wish I could have pummeled you

Alas, I’m not a fighter

But question if I’m a lover

Logically, there must be someone out there

In the flesh you can relate to.


2

The road bleak

Uninspired

Exhausted

Tired

With no hope in sight

Until I saw the light.


I have seen the error of my ways

Live to fight another day

I’ve been waiting for this revelation

And no amount of frustration or alienation

Is going to sway me from this bountiful light.


Why yes?

Why not?

Everyone to have a shot

That opportunity for greatness

The golden ring

Glorious.


A bad ad lib?

A gaff?

The flag at half mast

Now it waves proudly

And I’m not going to forget

They can watch it on via a rerun

It’s time to breathe purity

Heaven sent.


3

This moment

You must seize

Slam the door to the past

Some believe you’re cognitively deficient

Or perhaps a masochist

Cause it’s easier to play the sympathy card

And become the erstwhile victim for life.


Undeniably smart

Without a lick of common sense

Selfish at the expense of others

Or so they assume

Emotions close to the vest

Castle walls remain sound proof

You could be an entertainer

Or an eccentric recluse

As you’re still waiting for the definite definition

As to what a human being is

It isn’t so black and white

You gotta think…


Start the process

And remain on the track

Don’t let others try to trick you

Into believing they’ve got something better

They are just conjurers

Of another soul crushing disappointing illusion

There is nothing but clarity

The truest of purposes

With the realization

You can’t do it alone.


4

Back to a moment of time

Not consumed with fondness

I don’t pine for those days

It was beyond a phase

It wasn’t just malaise

It was beyond the pale

I’m not going to bore you with the details.


You may have been young then

But you can try to block out all the cries

Covering up with the cleverest alibies

You ain’t immune

But I choose to sit this one out

There’s nothing to accomplish

Save for sticking it in your face

That I wasn’t the waste you predicted

I would be.


5

He has risen

To wash away all of your sins

He came, saw and conquered

Not seeking the jewel of the crown

Performing miracles

Some say he’s just a fictional character

Demanding proof of his existence

But I know

Feel differently

Cause when all of man’s defenses breakdown

And you have no one to call

He’ll be there waiting

Without prejudice

Without judgment.


6

But free will complicates everything

Treat others with respect

Show compassion

Give what you can

Be aware

Make the necessary changes

Don’t forget to pray

As I tell myself…

But not expecting a walk in the park either.


7

The inclination is to shut down

And not come up for air

But while you stare into the abyss

You miss some of the good tidings

Around you

Just take a minute

And give some of us a chance?


8

Is there any good I do?

Or are you gonna systematically destroy with criticism

Beyond the highest of expectations?

In hopes that I throw my hands up in frustration?

Screw it as you can say

I always knew he never had it in him.


You’re wrong

I may be flawed

Vulnerable

Beaten

But I’m not finished

Until the holy one deems

Me ready for the next flight.


9

Way off the grid

I’ve given connection a try

Besides a few close loved ones

There’s nothing out there

That holds my attention

It’s time to build up

After a lifetime of breaking down

Damn those black shadows to hell

I’m reaching for the stars

And a seat in Heaven.


10

I refuse to be your martyr

And choose to be myself

Much to your detriment

Give me your best insult

I’d rather remain true

While being alone

Than be flying in the wind

Wherever it blows.

11

Up above, the guiding hand

Steering me through the maze

Avoiding the detours

By thy self-will caused me to crash

Alas, I’m at the crossroads

Unsure which direction to take

The answer is evidently clear

Continue along blindly

Toward the path of self-destruction

Or trust, believe and have faith

By placing my life in the hands of God

Upon the path of self enlightenment

That awesome revelation

That I don’t need any illusory crutches

To get me through the day.


12

Looking for inspiration

In the well praying

That the water springs forth

To heal not drown

And I hear the sounds

Of birds in the sky

That wonderful song

And I’m in tune with the frequency

Joy

Beauty

State of grace

That makes me feel comfortable

In my space.


13

Open your eyes widely

And give it an honest shot

Not everyone is gonna treat you badly

Or conspire to tear apart your heart and soul

For trauma leaves you cold and untrusting

But only a fool would plant a stake

At the extreme poles.


Misfired connotations

Of a social awkwardness

That many can’t or will understand

You ain’t special

Neither are they

Just to forge a connection

Separated by vast islands

That long for the sound of a voice

But if you make a choice to go inward

Will you ever find your way back to that comfortable state?

Not too in or too out

But time for myself

Yet there’s another world outside of purview.


14

Don’t live through others

Don’t get your power

By destroying someone else’s dreams and aspirations

Try to encourage

Empower

But never coddle

Never fall victim to the guilt

They will attempt to foster upon you.


15

Go on creating

It’s God’s gift to you

But don’t let it consume you

And not having anything left

To give to others who have stood by you

In your darkest hours.


16

Each day we awake

We are blessed to have a new beginning

Even if change is gradual

It’s far better than doing nothing

Or continuing along the same beaten path

Expecting different results.


17

In the zone

At normal speed

Where everything seems slowed down

Each decision

A modicum of clarity

Exact steps visualized with crystallized precision

Upon cloud nine

Feet planted firmly on Terra firma

Oh, Lord I wish I could feel this way everyday

Then I come back to reality looking forward

To being at one with you again.


A place where the heart is open

Trust is a wise response

Not from naivety

But from a union of communication and connection

Not just a falsehood to pass the time

Not enslaved by the hedonistic prima donnas.


Is it a crime?

To want more?

I’d rather bide my time

Waiting to be back in the state of bliss

Where the mind, body, heart and soul

Are unified.


18

The past was a bitch

With occasional glimpses of grace

And a feeling that couldn’t be replaced

With illusions

But to sabotage yourself within

You’ll never be forgiven

And the harvest of happiness

You’ve been searching for

It’s a constant theme

A repeated refrain

A mantra that one day

You will become what you think.


19

Unbelievable as you deny others

Freedom to express

While you dismiss

Your own megalomania

It must be jealousy or envy

How delusional you’ve become.


Your unwillingness to bend

To lend an ear

Hallmarks of a control freak

As you can say that

You don’t want to be hurt again

But without risk

On a counterpoint

You’ll never achieve the happiness

That you once had as a youth

When no one could puncture a hole in the bubble

But once you became the victim

You lost integrity

And forgot where you came from.


20

Try to be strong

Never arrogant

Always be grateful

Remain humble

Don’t let others dictate

How your life should be

When they can barely stand on their own feet

If it were only that easy.


21

I intend to make peace with the ones

I have hurt and let down

To find healing within myself

The slide was gradual

The comeback will be as well

But I’ve got another 24 ahead

And it feels so good.


P-3/18, 4/18, 5/18.

---

Favorite Favorite  Comment Comment  Share Share