terezacristinagoncalvesmendescastro1

Rewriting life

Category: /Reflection/
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Rewriting life

I must pay more attention to my attitudes and any and all emotions of my soul.
I know that I have peaks of anxiety, depression, of mimimis, I am like that, but the age coming, new parameters to be constructed, I am changing little by little.
It is difficult, because I am sometimes fragile as a Crystal, other times I am bitter and I say words that also hurt, also hurt the other.
But I am aware, I am not ashamed to say this, I am not false to the point of saying that I have never made a mistake.
Perhaps other people in whom I have already mentioned in my writings have seen their own bellybuttons, and have never made any mistakes.
I know that sometimes I give leash to pettiness, to other people's gossip, but I also give my heart to the people who most need attention.
I refused to even be a councilwoman, because my way of being would be incapable of lying, and of collecting a sum that I could share with my brother and sisters-in-law, besides children and nephews, and share with so many that I love, or with institutions that are rare to me, and that many times I can't help because I haven't earned enough to earn, with my life as a teacher of the São Paulo State Public Network, I am a public servant, and I thank those 31 years of my life in Education.
But, I rethink my life, there are hours I regret, other times, I think why didn't I move on?
Maybe because of my fragility, sick by choice, or for some other reason, I moved away from the classroom, and the functional dysphonia may have silenced the sound of my voice, but I have my hands to write what I think.
I wish I could change some things in my life, but I appreciate what I am today, and what makes me move forward and get involved with the pains of the world and see that I can rethink, and relive memories, be honest, be sincere, I don't want unreal friends, I want the sincerity I inherited from my parents.
And, I want to pass this on to my children, and rejoice to leave better children on the Planet Earth, who love dance, culture, mathematics, the environment.
I want to rethink my world and be able to say that I learned a lot to be able to teach more and more.

São Paulo, October 28, 2019.
Saint Judas Thaddeus Day.
Day of the Civil Servant.
Teka Castro. Writer.